Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Monday Nights - LAMB CHOPS NIGHT!

The only thing that gets me through a Monday is thought of my Lamb Chops. Some people look at the size of me and automatically think I don’t eat. They make the assumption that I live off carrot stick. WRONG! I eat a healthy amount. I have what you call a high metabolism and this high Metabolism allows me to eat my own weight in Lamb Chops every Monday Night!

I love Minted Lamb Chops more than my own mother. I buy them from Iceland. They’re cheap, tasty and God’s way of telling me that he loves me. At the moment I have 3 packs at home, 2 in the freezer and 1 in the fridge marinating. I like to have a couple of spares just in case of emergencies. For example, what if there’s a break out of Zombies or aliens attack London? How am I going to get to the shops? I would like to be prepared for such occasions. Oh you laugh at me now but who will be laughing when you’re housebound without a lamb chop insight?

Marinating? But didn't she just say she buys the Minted ones? Correct. God did a bad thing and took my minted chops away from me. I went to shop and looked in all the freezers but there were none! I was reduced to the normal ones that I have to marinate myself. I went home and cried on my boyfriends shoulder. Yes real tears and real sobs. The boyfriend had to pat me on the back to help me calm down. I was distraught!

So the other day we’re in Iceland. I’m off looking at chocolate (please note the point about my high metabolism in the first paragraph… jealous yet?) and the boyfriend was off, doing boyfriend things like reaching for the high stuff and scaring children. Suddenly he came running back and asked me, “Guess what I found?” I told him that stealing children was illegal and he better put it back. He shook his head and looked serious. I went threw a list of things ranging from Chicken legs to washing up liquid. I was getting frustrated with him. “JUST TELL ME!” So he said, “What does god give to good girls?”

“LAMB CHOPS!!!” I ran around to the isle as fast as my little legs would carry me. And there they were in all their minted glory. My £3.50 lamb Chops. From the other side of the shop the boyfriend said he heard me let out a squeal with delight. If you were me you would let out a squeal too!

So now you think, the story has a happy ending. WRONG! We only had £5 on us. Only enough for one pack!! I did the only thing that anyone in my situation would do. I hid the other packets under a pile of lamb shanks! No one is getting to my lamb chops!!!!

And do you know what, no one did. (Now it’s a happy spoilt-little-monster ending.)

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