American Express: Death Option.

Why do companies insist on making their websites so complicated? All I wanted to know was what award systems American Express have and how much it’s going to cost. Can I find that information out on their website? NO! Instead they give me 101 flipping stories about people redeeming their points for this that and the other. I didn’t ask how Julie of London managed to get a bottle champagne to her sister in San Francisco before the birthday party even started. If I wanted to know about Julie and her sister I would have googled, ‘Julie + sister + boring story about cheap champagne.’

Why can’t companies just make their websites simple? Do you think pretty drop down menus that flash and make whoop-whoop noises are going to entertain me? I’m not entertained, I’m pissed off and getting very frustrated! Don’t make me get all Hulk on your ass, turn green and write a letter. Trust me when I say this; you don’t want a letter!

Finally I get to a section that says, ENROL. Yay I think, at least I can have a look at the cost system before I confirm anything. WRONG, it takes me to a story about Frank and his lost laptop! I DON’T CARE ABOUT FRANK AND HIS LOST LAPTOP!!! Get the picture? I don’t give two hoots that Frank is stupid enough to leave his laptop on the plane. Don’t make your problems mine Frank. I seem to have enough of them as it is at the moment. I go to cities all the time where I don’t know anybody and you don’t hear me writing about it (okay you do, but I don’t send my sob stories to American Express!) And further more Frank, are you that incompetent that you couldn’t call the airline yourself? You had to get American Express to do it for you? Well if that’s what I’m wasting my rewards on, they can stick their reward system and while they’re at it, they can stick a badge on me that says, “I’m competent.’

You have no idea how upset I’m getting here. I’ve wasted 30mins of life on this stupid piece of garbage website. That’s 30mins of my life I will never get back! I could have written about a funny story today but no, American Express as ruined it for everyone and now I’m writing about their fancy-dancy website that’s filled with rubbish stories about weekends in the Tuscan sun, sipping on Cappuccino’s and looking at hills. What the hell is this? A Flight Centre advert? I want to know how much to paid for the flipping card not what the hills in Tuscany look like.

No, I’m fed up! You’ve wasted my time and made me angry. If you were any other (smaller) company you would be hearing from me about my legal rights to information and that I’m informing my make believe solicitors! You would have 28 days to comply or my people will sue your fancy website making asses! I’ve done it before and if you didn’t have a huge legal team who you paid millions, I would SO take you on!
I'll get you American Express and your little reward system too!