Thursday, 10 September 2009

I'm a Twit: Outsmarted by a Bank Teller

I like to think that I’m a clever chicken. Not so much in the ‘Look at all my certificates’ sense but more in the, ‘You have 101 certificates and yet you still require help to boil an egg or get home in one piece.’ Some times, I have to laugh at how people go about their day to day business. I know it’s wrong to judge others and revel in my self proclaimed superior status but don’t worry, this morning I got my comeuppance. Think public, think embarrassing and think down right stupid. Yes, I made a complete tit of myself at the bank!

I had to go and pay the council tax. I’m pretty lucky and will admit that Justin takes care of most of the financial up keeping. I just give my 50% and he takes care of it all. The only thing we don’t spilt on is Council tax. We take this in turns to pay. Every second month I have to pay it in full. This month was my turn.

So off I clip clop to the bank in my black stilettos. With my unfilled out council tax book, I wait in the que for my turn. I get the front and I hand the book to the man, “I want to pay the council tax please.”
The man smiles, “You haven’t filled the slip out.”
I scratch my head, “I never fill it out. Not that I don’t know how but I don’t carry a pen with me and I don’t like using Bank pens. So many people touch those. Germs aren’t cool.”
Clearly unimpressed by my quick wit he replied, “I will fill it out this time but in future you need to do it yourself.”
Every time I have to pay something at the bank they tell me this. I’ve yet to fill anything out at the bank myself. Bank pens are horrible and I don’t see the point in carrying a pen in my bag just for banking purposes.

“Could you please put your card into the machine?” He didn’t make eye contact. Clearly he’s not a morning person and we’re never going to be friends.
I opened my purse and my card wasn’t there. Now this doesn’t surprise me. I quite often just through it in my bag and then play a game of ‘Where’s My Card’ the next time I want to use it. I start rummaging through the contents of my Mary Poppins Bag. Clearly I’m not going to find it with everything in the bag. I smile at the man in the hope he’s not going to throw my out for what I’m about to do. I pull out my make-up bag then my camera. Still can’t find my card. The que is building behind me… I need to find my card quick quick! I pull out my umbrella, tickets to Venice, tickets to a past football match, a rock (don’t ask!), pair of stockings, packet of panadol, a blue clothes peg, a bolt, a ruler, a green clothes peg and finally my ipod.

The man behind the counter huffs as I pile all my things back into the back. “How do I go about cancelling my card?”
He rolled his eyes, “Do you have your savings card on you?”
I opened my purse again and turned to the other section where I keep my other cards. SHIT!
“OH LOOK! I found my current account card! It was in my purse all along. How silly am I?”
His turn for a quick witted remark, “You carry a rock and clothes pegs in your handbag but don’t carry a pen. You emptied the entire contents of your bag onto the counter for you to find your card in your purse. Do really want me to answer that?”

“No you don’t have too. It was a rhetorical question.”

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