Monday, 7 September 2009

Fire Drills and High Heels

Can I just openly put this out there, fire drills and new high heels don’t mix.

I bought myself a new pair of work shoes on the weekend. Being the shorty I am, I like to try and elongate myself for the office. Much like braces and how they get tighter with time, every six months I go up half an inch. Today was my first day on 4.5inch heels. Now this may not sound impressive but frankly I’m not trying to impress. When you’re up and down from your desk all day, any sized stiletto can become a mammoth task. So today has been a day of blisters. I don’t mind really, once they’re broken in, they will become my comfy work/dancing shoes.

Having new shoes is fun. Having new shoes that are giving you blisters and being forced to stand in them for 45mins outside because of a fire drill, not so fun. The alarm went and I took off my shoes to change them for my flats. As I did so I got a dirty look from a trader. One of those, “I hate women and why on earth is she changing her shoes when the building is on fire.” He’s eyes scared me, so I put my high heels back on before he opened fire around the office with his hidden hand gun, like how they do it in America, “You ate my jello, NOW YOU DIE!”

So off I tottled but not before I packed my handbag up with all my vital organs (purse and phone.) I completely forgot about the 'no lift' rule during fire drills. I was rudely reminded when I was ushered to the stairwell. May I point out I have never used the stairwell. This building is like Hogwarts, magic stairwells everywhere that lead to secret passages outside! I followed the crowd and found a seat on the corner. I sat, I chatted I was then told to move onto the meeting point. Unfortunately, “But my feet are sore,” Doesn’t wash with HR when they’re trying to do a head count… on mass.

So I stood like a herded animal while some one with a megaphone mumbled something at us. BAAA and MOOO were the general responses from the crowd. During the 30-45mins of just standing around discussing how much company time we were wasting, we had gathered and audience. Everyone in the buildings around us all came to the windows to see the annual sceptical of mass confusion aka An Evacuation.

Now you may think this is bad enough. My afternoon has been rudely disrupted, my feet hurt like hell and to top it off we’re being looked at like animals in a zoo. I truly thought it couldn’t get any worse this. The next think we know, we’re being herded back into the building. My feet were at the point of no return. You know the point, cut them off before you slit your wrists from the pain. I get back inside and I’m told, “Lifts aren’t working, use the stairs.” I really felt like asking someone to carry me but I didn’t. Although what an entrance that would have been!

So now I sit at my desk with minuets to go before knock-off time. My toes are numb and oh, I have ear plugs in because they can’t work out how to turn the alarm off.

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