Wednesday 25 February 2009

Kell V Man United

So last night we watched the football. Inter Milan V Man United. I’m not the biggest football fan. I just find the whole thing a bit chav! But anyway, The boyfriend asked who I wanted to win.
“The Blue ones. Inter Milan.” I replied without even looking up or thinking about it.
I could tell he was confused. He was expecting some smart-ass remark like I always give when watching the football. He’s used to me saying things like, “Who are the blue guys again?” and “When are the adds, I want to talk.” So when I managed to actually name a team and then know who I was referring too, he was naturally quite taken back. He patted my head, “Good Girl, you’re learning.”
“I’d hardly say being a FIFA 09 WAG is learning. More like force fed.” He wasn’t impressed with my quick wit and went back to the game.

At half time he turns to me and says, “How come you never watch the football and now all of a sudden you’re engrossed by it? You’re contradicting yourself. And why are you supporting Inter Milan exactly?”
“First off, it’s soccer. Secondly, you have a blue team and red team. The blue team look better, they also live in Milan so my money is on they don’t dress in tracksuits in their spare time. Thirdly they’re playing Man United who are more Chavtastic than a Kentish Town Council Estate. Cheap, tacky and nasty. Even Beckham left them! Win or loose the match it’s clear who the true winners are.”
The boyfriend shook his head, “That’s not how you pick a team.”
“I didn’t realise there are rules about how you pick a team.” If I’m going to support where my family come from then is should be supporting Arsenal but they were playing on the other channel and Justin was sitting on the control. In all fairness they’re just as Chav as Man United. Besides, who cares where your family comes from generations back. Do you think they would be pissed if you didn’t support the home team? It’s called jumping on the bandwagon and if you can’t tell, I’m against bandwagon jumping!

“There are no rules; it’s just that you can’t judge a team by how Chav their home city is.”
Want to make a bet?
The game kicked off again and my attention was drifting. Potato Head (Rooney) wasn’t playing so I couldn’t laugh at him (He came on at the very end). It was just, for lack other words, BORING! I sat there and practised my dirty war chants. Eventually it was over. 0 to 0. But it wasn’t a complete waste of 90mins. At least Man United didn’t win. In truth, that’s all I was hoping for.

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